The Secret Sauce to Happiness

Hello reader!

If you’ve been following along then you know that the last few years have not been all rainbows and butterflies. There have been some serious challenges! What else is a female world traveler to do besides hitchhike from here to there, pick up odd jobs, and focus on feeling safe with herself again?

Before traveling, I was a middle school social studies teacher living in Durham, North Carolina. My life was seemingly normal and, by most standards, great. I was an effective teacher who had amazing relationships with my students and a leader in the school. In my personal life, I had my fair share of romance, but my most vibrant relationship was with salsa dancing. Life was seemingly good- enough…

Except for the anxiety, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), and overwhelming sense of doom. Yeah, that would dampen things. The general sense of “there must be something else” didn’t help. Plus that nagging feeling of “I don’t belong here,” would keep me up at night.

View from Chinese Village in my town

Current Reality

What started off as a 1 year holiday turned into a complete lifestyle shift. The nomadic life suits me. I base in the northern part of Thailand for 6-8 months of the year and spend the rest of the time somewhere else doing whatever I feel like doing. Online work sustains me and my home base is incredibly special. It's a creative hub and a vegan paradise where playfulness is widely encouraged and nature is easily accessible. Living there is extremely satisfying and the seasonal ebbs and flows invite me to practice secure attachment.

The years of travel and reflection have brought me closer to myself. I've learned my needs and preferences and the changing environment invites adaptability and strength. I still have PTSD and my symptoms still flare up, but I have access to tools and community that support healing and make it manageable. 

The Journey

Finding a place that aligns with your needs might take time or you might already be there! But finding a suitable place is actually only as good as your mental and emotional ability to accept joy into your life. Though the environment makes a huge difference on one’s ability to self-regulate and experience prolonged satisfaction, it’s not the only factor to consider. Being emotionally available to receive joy is half the journey. There are times that I’ve been immersed in awesomeness and only been able to point out the problems. Learning how to let go and embrace reality with non-attachment has optimized my level of satisfaction. Through reflection and trial and error, I’ve found the secret sauce to my own happiness.

Cacao singing circle after Saturday market

The Sauce

Play - When we become adults, society stops giving us permission to have fun. Take this back.

Sweating - I don’t know the science, but when I’m not sweating at least once a month, life is harder. In Nicaragua, it was the temezcal, a natural sweat lodge. In Thailand, it's the sauna. It makes a difference.

Nature - I love nature. Nature loves me. Of course I prefer the places that let me walk around naked, but having access (in any capacity) makes me happier. 

Community with shared values - Being surrounded by people who have the same values affirms my confidence and sense of belonging. When the people around me say “yes!” to my core beliefs, I feel less insane and managing my social world is simpler (but still not easy).

Movement - For physical movement, I rely on yoga, dance, walking, and hiking. For emotional release, singing, kirtan, crying, and writing move energy. A body in motion stays in motion and effective rest is a learned skill.

Minimalism - You know the saying less is more? Yeah. Less stuff = less stress. Minimalism isn’t exactly about having the least amount of objects, it’s more about making intentional choices about one's material things.

Artificial Intelligence - I was against AI for a long time. Seeing the way my friend, Neil, uses it has changed my life. I use the tool to help me understand the science of my mental illness, make travel plans, modify my CV and track progress on projects. Using this tool in a healthy and effective way alleviates a lot of stress.

Financial Security -  Living in a place that is affordable adds to comfort and ease of mind. Financial security is in progress for me. I haven’t made a lot of money since I started traveling, but now that I’ve found a comfortable base, I’m looking for opportunities that’ll support prolonged financial stability. 

Delicious & Nutritious Food - Living somewhere with easy access to healthy and affordable food is important. Finding these places isn’t always easy (especially in the US), but the time and energy is worth the investment.

Sex - Have more of it. Whether it's casual, deeply intimate, or with yourself, indulge. It’s a physiological need.

Manifestation : This is not a coincidence

I find it very frustrating when people call me "lucky." The perspective of “luck” seriously undervalues the level of dedication and discipline it took to get here. Just like everything, there are consequences and choosing this reality has its downsides.

In general, the work of being human is not easy. Everyday, we're faced with numerous choices and it's in those decisions that our lives are made. Today, on my worst day, I can wake up and do yoga out of habit; but 10 years ago, convincing myself to do a 10 minute sequence took an enormous amount of effort. The seeds I sow now are the ones I’ll reap years from now.

That’s the power of the present moment. 

Manifesting one’s dream life isn’t only about big sweeping dramatic changes. It’s simple and conscious steps. So be courageous. Plant seeds with intention and take action today knowing that one day, you’ll be glad you did.

Which element of "the sauce" would you like to hear more about? Leave a comment below!

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