Temple Takeaways
- Jessica Jaye
- Jan 9
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 5
Disclaimer:
If you didn’t already read the article on my time in the temple, maybe go have a gander at that. Reading it isn’t essential to finding something meaningful from this article, but it’ll help with context.
I arrived at Wat Pa Tam Wua after a few days of vomiting (I think I drank some bad water). Upon arrival, I found a quiet place and cried. Energetically, I was low, if not completely empty. Physically, I was struggling to adapt to Asia and mentally, I was experiencing decision fatigue. I arrived at the temple feeling calm and held. I felt supported by Source and trusted that if I surrendered to life at the temple then I would walk away feeling refreshed and peaceful.
Intentions
No speaking
No writing
No phone during my silence (with one exception to take pictures for the blog)
Rules of the temple
No singing
No dancing
No yoga
Women must sit behind the men
In the beginning
The first few days, I was numb and adjusting. I didn’t care about anything. I was happy to follow the rules, receive 2 meals a day, and have no responsibilities. The only expectation was that I work on my practice. When I say my “practice” I mean my meditation or mindfulness practice. This, I could manage. This, I had space for. It was all that I wanted to make space for, actually.
Wat Pa Tam Wua is a special place because it is less strict than most temples and very open to tourists. This is good because it gives people access to mindfulness and meditation, but it challenged me when others wouldn’t follow rules by having a call in the meditation hall or a loud conversation in the silent zone of the dining hall.
Lessons from Silence
Being in silence gave me the chance to be the observer. I observed myself and the people around me extensively. I occasionally observed nature, but more than that, I was binge reading books. It was compulsive. A combination of a response to withdrawal and a dedication to learning. Being in silence taught me that I need words a lot less than I thought. It taught me to prioritize the energy I invest in my speech and the conversations that I engage in.
When I wasn’t producing anything (no speech or writing), there was a surge of energy within. It felt open and spacious. I felt calm and clear because I wasn’t going outside of myself for validation or other’s perspective. When processing, or trying to understand something, silence invited me to look inside and naturally, I avoided influence from other people and their emotions. Influence has its time and place. Other people inspire me and give me new ideas, but the practice of seeking finding the answers from the stillness within oneself feels like a yes to me.
Lessons on Idealism
Wat Pa Tam Wua is a great place to practice letting go of perfectionism. In an ideal world, people follow the rules and take their practice seriously. In smaller containers, the monks or space holders might do a better job of enforcing standards, but here, things were quite liberal. I found myself getting irritated. I was irritated because I learned that monks are people. They are people who have renounced worldly possessions for the sake of their spiritual practice, but they are not all enlightened or at peace. I realized this watching one monk throw a shoe at a dog running away with his slipper and when another one completely dismissed my question about gender in a rude way. I was irritated by the people taking selfies on the walking meditation and questioned those wearing a silence badge, but talking on the phone or with other tourists.
After reading a chapter in a book of stories, I felt a sense of validation and relief. I am not a Buddhist, but part of their belief system that I agree with is surrendering to how things are. To accept them. Of course we all would love to live in a perfect world where there is no suffering and people are happy, but we don’t. Attaching to the idea and trying to enforce it is a waste of energy. The world’s problems are too big for one person to hold and the practice of attaching to perfection causes unnecessary suffering. It projects your attention outward to things you can’t control instead of inward where you can actually make a difference.
Lessons on Impermanence
One thing that didn’t strike me as a core belief of Buddhism is impermanence. Before coming to the temple, I was always hearing about attachment and suffering. Through reading the texts and the Dharma talks, I was invited to really sit with the concept of death. All things come to an end. This realization is bittersweet. On the one hand, all the beautiful things will eventually die. On the other hand, so will all the terrible things.
This realization gave me the chance to let go of idealism. It gave me the chance to relax into a quiet knowing that even without me, the craziness will end… Eventually. I will continue to radiate light and have a positive influence on the people and places around me, but our situation (as a human species) will change and transform regardless of my presence. For some reason, this lightens the load. It makes me put less pressure on myself.
In the end
The last few days of my time in the temple were quite flowy and calm. I learned how to surrender to the early mornings, the agonizingly long evening chanting, and the imperfection. I grew comfortable with my silence and was also looking forward to singing, dancing, and hugging again. I was at peace and my mind was calm. Nothing bothered me. I was in a mental state that accepted everything around me as it was without the desire to change it. I was radiating light and peace. That was enough.
That was enough.
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